WHERE DOES THE LOVE GO? / A PHOTOSERIES
11:11
the beginning
Where does the love go? I've asked myself this question multiple times for situations. When you lose someone, through death perhaps or something different entirely. I am not the best at dealing with negative emotions, particularly emotions of loss, so I decided to create something productive out of how I was feeling and create this photo series called ‘Where does the love go?’. The photo series explores the feelings of loving someone, the losing of someone and the aftermath of that. It’s extremely personal but I have found that working on something to do with how I’ve been feeling has been therapeutic in a sense. I have a long way to go and I am still unsure as to how I should or shouldn’t be feeling, but lately photography has been my main method of expression, it’s been easier. More so than writing, so that is why I have been very silent on No Cat Got My Tongue lately.
the in between (getting to know you)
This photo series is an expression of loss if I'm being honest. The colours symbolise the emotions we tend to associate with each colour. How you interpret each photo is up to you. The photos are very simple but I’ve put a lot of thought into the lighting and hand gestures in each one. If you have any questions at all, please don’t hesitate to ask.
the warm feelings
So where does the love go? I always find when I lose someone that I have all these left-over feelings that I don’t know what to do with. You want to still show that person you care, that you won’t forget them. But sometimes that opportunity is not available to you. It’s often very overwhelming and I have found that channeling these emotions into my photos has helped somewhat.
the weight (of anxiety)
A few months ago, my dad and I were talking about the death of my grandmother and I wondered where she had gone. Did I believe in the idea of a heaven? Did I believe that things happened for a reason? Dad said something that made me cry but also comforted me at the same time. He said that he believed the love that she had for her family still exists, perhaps in the air, in the little unique things that families do together. The love doesn't just vanish. I imagine it circling in the air, passing through us all, maybe even when I hold the hand of my baby cousin. My grandmother’s love lives on her, just as it lives on in me. That’s what I believe. As for the other feelings of loss I am experiencing, I am still learning how to cope with it. Some days are harder than others. Today, the day I am finally sharing these photos is a hard day. But it will pass, I know that much.
the disintegration
I can remember loving someone with freckled hands, I've loved a person whose hands were used to create music with an instrument I don't fully understand and may never understand. I remember my grandmother's hands, how worn they were after eighty years of working hard. But old and frail as they were, those hands played a part in creating a love that a family, my family still remembers and vows to protect.
Where does the love go when you lose someone that is still alive? I have spent years trying to figure out where it goes. I haven’t found definite answers as to how to use that left- over love, but I am refusing to just lie down and do nothing. I must keep going, there is still so much out there for me to experience. Sometimes you've got to reach out your hand and let certain feelings of love go. Sometimes the most important part of love is letting that person go, even though you don't want to.
the overwhelming presence of blue (sadness)
Where does the love go then? What have I discovered during my twenty-two years on this earth? I’ve found you channel that love into whatever makes you feel your most authentic. For some, music. Playing and playing until you lose yourself in the sound that you are making. For me it's words and now photography. Channel it so every bit of that love you had for that person that is now gone is translated into something beautiful. Use your hands, use those skills that you have and do something with it. You can’t just lie down and give up. I remember in the past that I tried to give up and I just couldn’t. Something pushed me forward until I broke free of the left-over love that was weighing me down and I made it through. Just as I will break through the emotions of loss, left-over love that I feel now. I am more of a writer than a blogger. I know that now. I have called myself a blogger in the past but I think there’s more to my writing than just calling what I share a blog post and a blog post alone.
the unknown (panic)
These photos I have shared mean a lot to me and I have been working on these for over a month now. I have had no help with these photos, all the hand gestures were created using my own hands and a trusty camera timer. I suppose that makes it all the more personal and worthwhile when I achieve something I am happy with. I hope you like them. I hope you understand that I am exploring my emotions, learning how to create positivity from a negative situation. I hope that people see these photos as something positive, something beautiful.
the right thing to do (let go)
'i'm waiting for it, that green light, i want it'
Thanks as always for taking the time to support this little space of mine on the internet.
0 comments
I love hearing feedback, all constructive criticism welcome!
Note: only a member of this blog may post a comment.