A LITTLE RAMBLE // UNIVERSITY AND STATE OF MIND
09:38
Yes, it's going to be a personal post, so sit down and enjoy it. I'm not having a crisis, so friends and family and other people who might be either terrified or clamouring to know what mess I've gotten myself into this time, don't worry! I've been thinking a lot lately about my priorities, where I see myself in the future and the way I view things. It's been so long since I've posted, but if you want the truth as to why I haven't posted, it's because I've been out living - rather than spending all my time on my computer.
I've been "working" on myself for such a long time and you'd think I'd be devastated that I am not exactly at my goal just yet, but I'm not. What even is my goal? I guess it's to be focused on looking forward, not to be looking back. To be content with NOW, with the people and circumstances of my life.My first week consisted of tests, of challenges and it was also very interesting!
It's been so good to reconnect with familiar faces. So so good. I've found my heart racing when I've been around a few of them and that's got me wondering what the future holds. However, my Alex and Ani bracelet has the words "What's for you won't pass you" engraved on it. Whenever I find myself struggling to understand what direction I'm going in, I look at it and remind myself that I am going to be okay, whatever happens. Last week I downloaded and deleted Tinder within a few hours. I might have used it once or twice in the past but to be honest, it doesn't feel real or authentic. One of my key goals in life is to be content with my own company. It's something that I have struggled with for a long time.
I once told someone that I loved seeing the world through their eyes, something different. Seeing the world through the eyes of someone you love is always going to be magical. Always will be, but thinking of that has me thinking about myself? What about my own perception? I am forever saying that I want to be comfortable in my own skin, I really really do. I have noticed that I am open to new things more than I used to. I've found lately that I've been in love with the new things that keep coming my way. Like meeting up with old friends, remembering moments, however bittersweet some of them may be. I have done so much dancing and laughing this week, I will probably remember it forever.
I'm finding that while my love life is an endless maze of twists and turns, that my outlook is improving. I have plenty of friends, ones who challenge me, teach me new things and show me how to enjoy life. If someone interesting comes along, great, but until I'm trying to teach myself that I ALONE can complete myself and not to count on someone, specifically not to believe that a specific person can complete me. I am ENOUGH alone, the sooner I realize that, the better.
I'm also loving my living situation this year, I couldn't be happier. My housemates are just amazing to live with and it's been so nice to be able to sit and eat meals with them as opposed to last semester. As shy as I can be, I do like human contact - so being able to have a chat when I come home from college is so lovely. If you're in first year and still feel a bit lonely, try organize some activities with your housemates, it's a great way to meet new people and to familiarize yourself with the people you'll be spending the next few months with!
This post should have been up last week but I wanted to have photos to go with it. It's been so long since I've gone near my blog but I'm hoping to change that now that I have my camera charger again. I'm going to try interview local Limerick talent so you can see the music scene up here and I hope to show you restaurants, shops and sights to check out around the city that I've made my home for the last four years.
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